


A Court of Shadows and Fallen Leaves

by Intertwiningfates



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/F, F/M, Love/Hate, M/M, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:02:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28398138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Intertwiningfates/pseuds/Intertwiningfates
Summary: Nyx is living her life free from Under the Mountain, after being born ad raised their she is trying to leave the nightmares of her past behind her.  Rhys needs a emissary and spy for the Autumn court, Nyx has the training to do it, but will she survive another court?
Relationships: Amren/Varian (ACoTaR), Azriel (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s), Elain Archeron/Tamlin, Eris Vanserra/Original Female Character(s), Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Lucien Vanserra/Vassa, Morrigan (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s), Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. A Invitation to Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a short first chapter, still trying to feel it out, hope you enjoy!

I was going to be late for cards again, Raven was going to kill me. I was perpetually cursed with being late. I jiggled my key into the lock of my lofts front door, carefully balancing a basket of food on my hip. I swear to the gods the thing weighed a million pounds. Finally pushing the heavy black door open and pulling the key out of the lock, I took a step inside. Instantly something felt amiss. 

“I’ve been looking for you.” A deep male voice mused from the corner of my dark living room. 

Relief washed over me at the sound. “Gods Rhys,” I huffed trying to slam the heavy wooden door behind me. Dropping my key on the little hand-crafted table I had picked up from a merchant on the continent and kept beside the door, I turned to face the darkness that seemed to devour my apartment. An unnatural amount of darkness for the sun only just having gone down. He was pissed. I mean he had every right to be. I did ignore his request for my presence at his compound of a home, twice this week. I knew he had a job for me. I wasn’t sure I was ready for it though.

“I get you’re pissed, but I’m starving, and I can’t walk to the kitchen choking on your smoke, so if you could, reel it in. That would be peachy.” I waited. Throwing my long pale blonde hair over my shoulder. I knew I was pushing buttons. How dare I speak to a high lord like that, none the less the High Lord of The Night Court, the most powerful high lord in history blah blah blah. The leather pants I had picked out this morning were digging into my side where my hips became soft and all I wanted was to be in something comfy. 

“You said you were ready. We agreed you were going to come work for me” He hissed. His shadows gently pulling back, allowing my loft to come in to view. He sat impeccably dressed in his usual black jacket and matching pants, in the big overstuffed black chair I kept in the corner surrounded by bookshelves. The small table that sat beside the chair held a large glass lantern, and amber liquid in a crystal glass. 

“Helped yourself to the liquor cabinet I see”. His hands clenched and unclenched where they rested on the arm rests. A small amount of guilt flooded me as my grey eyes met his violet. He was not just mad. He was concerned. 

“I know “I said walking hastily in past the basic living room set that sat in the middle of the open space to the darkly furnished kitchen to the right of where he sat. The whole apartment was decorated in wood, green, black and creams. It was perfect. I think Rhys had it made for me, but I never asked. His disapproving gaze followed me as I dropped the basket of food I had picked up from the Market of Salt and Bone on the marble countertop. 

“I’m just having an off week, anniversaries all ways make me feel a little suffocated, “I sighed, we had officially been free form under the mountain for four years at the end of the week. I stood in silence unwrapping and rewrapping the leather strap that kept the wicker basket lid shut. Cured meats, fruits, vegetables and fresh loaf of bread waited inside and needed to be put away. I snuck a quick glance up at Rhys as he came to stand next to me. Facing the living room, his back resting against the lip of the countertop. He towered over me when we were this close. It made me feel like a child again. 

“It’s hard to be good when all you know how to be is bad” I whisper staring at a spot on the swirling opal marble we leaned against. I had been one of the only babes born under the mountain, and the only one to survive. My mother was young when Amarantha took reign. Barely one hundred and fifty. I don’t remember anything about her, all I have is what Rhys has told me. She wasn’t particularly friendly, or kind hearted. She was vicious, charming, and had friends in the right places. If Rhys was Amaranthas right hand, my mother had been her left. She started off as nothing more than serving Amarantha, but I think Amara, what she used to have me call her when I was a child and couldn’t say her whole name, saw the darkness in her and I think my mother eased the ache Amara still held for her sister. So, the two became close. After my mother found out she was pregnant she stopped attending court. Afraid of what my father would do if he found out she was with child. When I was born, she re entered court but never brought me with her. So know one knew I existed. 

She was killed when I was two, nobody knew who or why, just that her body had been torn to pieces and strewn across the great hall. Amarantha did not take losing another sister well. Rhys says the following years were far worse than the first 30. He also said that she couldn’t bare to give me, to lose anything else. Which considering what a colossal bitch she was always surprised me. But none the less, she kept me, raised me, trained me. I started to show signs of possessing the power of daemati, I could read minds, influence feelings, so she allowed Rhys to train me. I had a very hard time, and still do controlling it though. The mind reading is easy, the feelings a little bit harder, but if I concentrate to hard, or use them for too long I tend to lose control and end up killing whoever I am using it on. So she also trained me in the art of seduction and secrets. I was her spy. A shadow. Someone know one new existed, and after I leached the secrets out of males and females who just though me a pretty girl from a different court who they could unload on. Rhys would erase that they had ever met me. And he would take any blame, when I would accidentally kill someone. Forever a ghost. 

Rhys was the only person who knew the truth, after he began training me she eventually allowed him to help care for me. We were a family. A sick twisted family. I knew he was the only one who would ever truly understand what I meant by that. About being bad. He had been everyone’s villain. I was just my own. 

“What we did under that mountain, will haunt us for the rest of our lives. That is a stain we will never be washed of. And I am so very sorry that I was not able to shield you from it.” He paused taking a deep breath. I didn’t want him to feel guilty for not protecting me. He was basically the only sort of father I had had, and I knew he did everything he could for me. 

“But there is also a greatness waiting for you. A happiness and relief like one you have never known and that will help shed a light into all your darkest corners. So, weeks like this don’t seem overwhelmingly unbearable. Because yes, anniversaries have a strange effect on us all.” He nudged me in the ribs lightly with his elbow. Cracking a small smile at the corner of my lips. Of course, he was talking about Feyre, their son, and soon to be new baby. In the 17 years he raised me under the mountain I had never seen him smile, not like the way he did after he found her. But their love, was founded in the stars, the mother wrote it into their fate, a once in a lifetime kind of deal. Something I wasn’t sure would ever find me. The small hole in chest I had been trying to fill the past 4 years since being free with distractions, learning, trying to be normal, trying to bury the pieces of me she had defiled with her darkness, the pieces she had molded in to this, started to ache again. 

“Please come to family dinner tomorrow night, Feyre will kill us both if you don’t come” He said his unusual eyes brightening at the mention of his mate. “I think it would be a lovely distraction from all your miserableness. The whole family will be there.” He stated tilting his head down to fully look me in the eye and cocking a dark brow up. That meant that all the inner circle and their partners, plus the spring court and fire bird queen. “And yes, I do mean the whole family.” He grimaced at the thought of what that entailed. So did I. It did not sound like something I wanted to do. “Besides, I actually do have a job for you, come to dinner and I’ll tell you then. Wear something nice.” He winked and briskly disappeared into thin air. 

“Show off” I huffed, stilled pissed that after all the power I got I couldn’t do something as simple as winnowing. And still trying to swallow whatever emotions had tried to claw their way to the surface and currently sat ideally in my throat waiting to unleash upon the world. Perhaps dinner was a good idea. It would at least get me in the company of people other than Raven, Garret and Holden, the only people I interacted with when I could help it. Raven owned a tea shop three doors down from my loft where it stood in the artist district. When I had first settled here a year ago after spending a few years traveling the continent her tea shop became apart of my morning routine. She was fiery, stubborn, loyal and I liked that, plus she made the best breakfast rolls in all of Pyrathian I’m convinced. And Garret and Holden, are my neighbors and the first people I met besides Rhys family. 

Shaking my head out of my depressing strain of thoughts, I put the food away and headed for my bedroom. My favorite place. Green, wood, and beige walls decorated with a big round golden mirror and artwork from the quarter. Bookshelves lined the side walls; a fireplace took up most of the wall closest to the door. A four-post black bed sat pushed against the farthest wall, deep forest green sheets and cream-colored blankets were tucked in neatly. A giant window took up half the left wall, a small window seat nestled at its base, covered in small pillows. Two black matching bedside tables scattered with candles, notebooks, and pens sat on either side of the bed. I walked over to the door beside the fireplace that led into my closet. 

Ignoring the mess that was sprawled on the floors I quickly stripped out of my leather pants and puffy sleeved white blouse I had worn to the market, dropping them into the vortex of material on the floor. And pulled a pair of the softest black pants that cuffed at the ankles, another purchase for my time in the continent. Pulling a long black sleeve knit sweater over my head, I headed to the front door. I grabbed my keys and slipped my feet into a pair of slippers. Just as voices grew louder in the hall. 

“You know that we know that you cheat right?” A deep voice drawled as I opened my door to see Raven walking a few feet in front of Garret and Holden who walked arm in arm, Garrets head resting on Holdens board shoulder, his luscious hazelnut curls spilling down Holdens shoulder blade. Raven was the kind of beautiful that made people ache. Her hair a thick mass of unruly midnight curls was pulled back with an olive green ribbon, her round eyes lined in her usual charcoal was accompanied by a nose, that was not small and delicate but proud and straight, with a beautifully delicate yet intricate gold hoop pierced through it. Her full mouth was contorted in a scowl. Creases forming above her thick black brow atop her amber tinged brown skin.

“Thank the Gods you are on time,” she said when she saw me. The lines in her forehead quickly disappearing, her scowl replaced by a bright smile of straight white teeth. “Now tell Garret I would never cheat.” She said coming to wrap her arm through mine. I threw a smile back over my shoulder towards the males, “Of course you cheat,” I say turning my attention to smirk at her. “but we want free breakfast, so we let it slide.” I say winking at her. Dragging her to the side so Holden could step through and unlock their loft door that was down a little way and across the hall from mine. We were the only people that lived in the building, the first floor was home to a small gallery and a paint shop. 

Holden chuckled as he stepped through the door. Holden was the tall and broad. At 6’5 he towered over all of us, A black tattoo peaked out of the grey tunic he wore and snaked up his deep cacao skin to the base of his buzzed dark brown hair. He was a gentle giant. Quiet, and kind, with the greatest laugh. Looking at him he looked overbearing, scary, but once you got to know him, he was your biggest supporter. Garret, Raven, and I piled in after him. Their loft was arranged a lot like mine, living area faced the kitchen, big windows, open, hardwood floors, a big fireplace. But their loft was decorated in oranges and yellows, random touches of reds and purples. It looked like a sunset had shed its skin. It was beautiful. Garret was from the Autumn court, and only came to Velaris, after he met Holden both soldiers, in the war against Hybern. Now they enjoyed retirement together in arguably the most beautiful places in this world. 

Raven and I took up residence at their great oak dining room table, while Holden went into the kitchen to grab the wine. Garret walked to the cabinet that held their wine glasses and pulled out three. Garret didn’t drink. After the war he struggled for a while to get sober. He always says he wasn’t meant for that war but how could it be true when it gave him Holden. But Garret wasn’t meant for long treks across bloodied battle fields, he was an artist at heart. And belonged in the quarter. He was bright and opinionated and the life of any party. Holden’s opposite yet each other’s equal. Garret sauntered up to the table placing the glass around the perimeter for the rest of us, then took the seat across from me. His chestnut eyes dancing with mischief. His honey skin highlighted beneath the ember glow. 

“Alright, what are we playing tonight kids?” he asked wagging his eyebrows up and down, his hazel eyes skimming each of us, his gaze pausing a little longer on Holdens deep brown eyes before traveling back to Raven’s and then mine. 

We did this at least twice a week. Go to one of our houses, or sometimes to the tea shop and play cards, drinking to the early hours of the morning, laughing. It was great. Made me feel good. Whole. Maybe a hint of what Rhysand had been talking about in the kitchen today.


	2. Dinner Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyx heads to dinner at Rhys and Feyre's

Three sharp knocks rapped on my front door. I wasn’t expecting anybody so like any sane fae, I ignored it and continued to debate how the hell I was going to do up my dress, normally I would walk across the hall and ask one of the males to do it, but I knew for a fact they wouldn’t be home. Lately they had been spending more time with Holden’s mother, she sort of lost her mind after the first Hybern attack on Velaris, when they breached the city. She had been terrorized by one of his monsters and was never able to recover. More recently though, she had been getting worse, she was now almost completely incapable of taking care of herself. 

Sighing, I pulled my long blonde hair over my shoulder, letting it hang in soft waves down my side, and tried to reach the laces that made up the back of my simple yet elegant black dress. I had only been to a handful of Rhys family dinners and I really wasn’t sure what dress nice was code for seeing as him and his high lady kept a very lax court. 

I went with an old favorite, from days of secrecy in a court of pure evil. A fitted bodice, with off the shoulder flowing black transparent sleeves cuffed with satin at the wrist. Satin flowed down the lower half of my body from where the bodice ended just below my waist. A long slit ran from the floor to my hip. I drew a small line on my inner upper lid in khol so my grey eyes would pop. And decorated my ears with simple golden studs. 

I missed my risqué choices of clothing. Under the mountain when I was tricking secrets and lies out of expecting parties it was mandatory that I was scantily clad, when I was traveling, I got rid of most of the outfits I possessed and only kept the clothes that were far to pretty to give away like this dress. Instead, I filled my wardrobe with comfy, practical clothes that weren’t to attention grabbing, I wouldn’t have thought that I would miss the ambiguity of being a ghost. But I found the real-world overwhelming, so the less attention I received the better. 

Another three sharp knocks rapped on my front door. Huffing in frustration I gave up trying to reach the laces, and braced my arm against my chest to keep my not so small breasts from spilling over the edge and in to view of however was knocking at my front door. 

Heaving open the door my breath hitched for a second as I took in the unbearably beautiful winged man bathed in shadows in front of me. Tall, tan, lean but so, so, so muscular, for once missing his Illyrian leather instead he adorned a simple black tunic, black winter coat, and black pants. His blue siphons glow visible still even under his jacket. His sacred blade strapped to his thigh. His scared hands on display. The Shadow Singer. He looked devastating. 

“Um hi,” I squeaked. Trying not to look as surprised as I sounded and failing. I have had a crush on Azriel for as long as I can remember. When I was younger Rhys raised me on stories about the Inner Circle, Azriel had always been my favorite and I used to imagine that is we ever got out, it would be my personal mission to make him love me. Rhys had never spared any details when he told me stories, he told me all about Az’s family and the atrocities they committed against him. He had seemed broken, and so much like me, I naïvely thought we would be a perfect fit. Things hardly turn out the way we hope. 

After Amarantha was killed, chaos unfolded, and I couldn’t function normally. So instead of coming back to Velaris with Rhys like I had planned for so long, I left. I ran as far as I could, all the way to the other side of the content. When I came back to Velaris, I had an even harder time adjusting to Rhys family. So I tried to keep my distance as much as I was capable. Although it is very hard to keep your distance from people who want to be your family. And not that I didn’t want that too, I just really didn’t know how to fit in. They were all so established in their roles and with eachother that I often felt like an intruder. I didn’t know how to belong with them, I had barely been able to figure it out with Holden, Garret and Raven, but I think it workd with us because we were all kind of the same. Never quit fiting in. Not to mention, I never had friends before so the whole idea of being a part of a family was overwhelming. Which meant Azriel and I didn’t interact much. And it seemed when we did, he was cold, almost calculating. Watching my every move as if he knew exactly what I was capable of and didn’t trust me for a second. So needless to say, that crush ended shortly after meeting him. He was still undeniably breathtaking though and I hated that my heart raced a little faster in his presence.

“Hello” Azriel nodded his beautiful face giving away nothing, though I could have sworn irritation flashed in his cold eyes. His shadows tensing slightly.

“What are you doing here?” I asked stepping back from the threshold, opening the door wider so he could come inside, one arm still braced against my chest. He tucked his wings in tighter as he strode through the door, his body made of power, his muscled back visible even through the dark jacket, the darkness trailing him. His eyes glancing in every direction, taking in my living quarters. I don’t know what he thought he would find. I smirked at the slight surprise that flickered in his eyes for only a moment when he was met with books and plants before his hazel eyes went blank again. 

“Rhys sent me to bring you to dinner.” He replied curtly, the cool mask of indifference never slipping from his face, even when I had to readjust my arms and the twins almost came barreling out on full display. My cheeks didn’t warm with embarrassment at the thought of him seeing me naked. Even though my heart still sped at an unusually fast rate. In fact, maybe it would help dislodge the giant stick he so often kept wedged up his ass.

“Are you ready?” he asked turning to face where I stood still next to the door. His eyebrows slightly drawn up at my ensemble that was threating to slip from my shoulders.

“Yeah” I said quickly walking towards him. I could have sworn he tensed a little, like I was going to attack him. His feet widening slightly, bracing. God’s what had Rhy’s told him about me. I had to actively stop myself from rolling my eyes at him. Like I was one powerful enough and two strong enough to do any serious damage on this nearly immortal being who could literally control shadows and had over 500 years on me. Stopping a foot in front of him I turned around and lifted my hair up in my hand, exposing my neck and back. 

“Can you lace me up?” I ask, turning my face to him over my shoulder. My eyes dipped slightly, trying to put him at ease, perhaps some part of my mind saw him as a challenge. Perhaps the shadow singer was just a little touch starved. And I would definitely volunteer to relieve him of this ache. Maybe he just needed me to… NO. I opened my eyes wider trying to wash away any evidence of my lack of control over my hormones. 

He hesitated for a moment as if debating whether or not this was a good idea; his nostrils flared slightly, his hazel eyes flicked to mine then back to my dress hanging open on my back. Slowly his scarred hands reached up and began to tighten the laces. He took every effort to not touch my skin. Perhaps he didn’t like me because he presumed me too used. Surely that couldn’t be it though, I knew his friends were all very open minded sexually, my past shouldn’t be that appalling. He was going to have to touch me when we flew so I don’t know what his problem was. After a moment he was finished. He took a step around me, and gestured one hand towards the door I had left open as if to say after you. Again, fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I walked to the little closet beside the front door and pulled out a pair black beaded slippers. Picking up the key that sat on the little crystal dish on the front table I walked into the hallway and waited for my escort to join me. 

Azriel closed the door behind him and waited just long enough for me to slide the lock into place before he continued outside. From where we stood on the sidewalk outside my loft you could see into the art gallery. A new exhibition had just opened up, displaying an artist from the summer court who had been granted scholarship to live in Velaris and study in the quarter. Her paintings were beautiful displays a war-torn sea. Vivid blues, greens and greys danced across the canvases with violent splashes of red to remind of a time not so long ago, when the summer court had almost lost everything. They were beautiful, and haunting. 

Azriel cleared his throat behind me. I didn’t realize I had moved and was now pressed up against the glass, staring intently into the little gallery. Fidgeting with a strand of my hair I whispered a hurried apology and went over to stand in front of him once again. 

“Ready?” He asked

“Ready for what?” I asked, cocking up a brow. I was messing with him of course, Rhys had been flying me around any chance we got my whole life. I liked it, but I was glad it wasn’t a requirement in the real world. I much preferred my feet on the ground. 

“To fly.” He stated simply stepping closer. Instinctively my arms went up and locked around his neck strong neck. He was much taller than I, at least five inches. Leaning my head back I looked up into his unreadable eyes, as his large hands spanned the width of my waist. I inwardly cringed at the thought of him touching my softer middle. Since my time on the continent I seemed to have had curves I didn’t have under the mountain. His hand tightened slightly and pulled me closer, my chest brushing against his lightly with each breath. His shadows curled around my ankles, lifting the ends of my dress like a gentle breeze. 

“AHH!” I yelped, one moment my feet were planted solidly on the ground and the next air was pushing past me in freezing furies. 

I could have sworn the corner of his lip twitched at the sound. I gave him a pointed look before tightening my grip around his neck again and burrowing closer. He smelled like mist and cedar, and it took every bit of will power I had not to inhale deeply.

What seemed like eons later but couldn’t have been more than moments I felt the hard ground return under my slippers. Dropping my arms quickly from their death grip around Azriel’s neck I brushed my hand through my hair, trying to tidy the wind-blown waves, trying to distract myself from the lose of his touch. Giving me a curt nod, he headed towards the estate sprawled out in front of us. Beautiful stone walls, and big windows faced the stone path we stood on. Laughter escaped from inside when Azriel opened the intricate wooden door that mirrored that of their town house. I missed the townhouse Rhys and Feyre had once lived in, but it had been too small for their growing family. I followed him to where he stood, holding the door open. Waiting for me. Squaring my shoulders and plastering a fake smile on my face I tried not to stalk towards the open door. 

“I would like to formally invite you to become apart of my inner circle.” Rhysand started leaning back in the light wood dining chair he occupied the stem of a wine glass intertwined between his long fingers as he raised it to his lips to take a sip while I considered his first statement. Cassian sat to his left, his wings tightly folded behind him, his arm casually slung along the top of Nestas chair to his left, like Azriel he too had ditched is leathers for a dark colored pant and jacket combo, the midnight color complimenting Nesta deep slate grey dress. Feyre perched on her seat to Rhys’ right and had been giggling with Mor who sat next to her. Both sat quiet now, a smile threatening to take over Feyres lovely face, she extended a icicle sleeve clad arm to grip her mates. I sat across from Rhys, Amren to my right, who had been seconds away from climbing in to Varians lap and engaging in some less than wholesome dinner entertainment. Now stilled, and turned her silver gaze towards me. Thank the Cauldron for the distraction. 

“And?” I asked, cocking a brow up mimicking the lack position of his body in my own chair, my own wine glass hiding the majority of the smirk I couldn’t keep from my mouth. Especially after I saw the way Cassian’s jaw had gone a little lack at my obvious boredom and defiance. I had played nice earlier, when we had arrived everyone had been in the grand sitting room. Talking, laughing, sipping wine, playing with Nox. 

Everyone was excited to see Az, especially Nox, who shoved aside a fake wounded Cassian, to run and leap into his other uncles arms. Azriel had guided me into the sitting room with the next high lord of the night court wrapped in his arms. Amren had been sitting on Varians lap in a plush chair next to a roaring fire. Nesta was seated on the sofa next to Elain, while Cassian had continued to roll around on the floor with Nox. Tamlin sat next to Elain spine stiff, his long blonde hair was pulled back away from his face this evening and it highlighted his gorgeous face. I didn’t blame him I would not want to be here if I was him. A few months ago, Feyre and Nesta had finally agreed to let Elain be an emissary for the spring court. She now split her time between Velaris and the there. At one point when everyone had broken up to find their way to the dining table I saw her brush a strand of his fallen hair behind his ear. He had regarded her as if she was the sun and he was feeling its warmth for the first time. 

Lucien had stood looking out the window, next to Vassa who was seated in a chair next to him. His red hair glowed in the ember, and you could hear the faint swirling or his mechanical eye every time he had to stop him self from looking at his former best friend and former mate. Lucien was the only person I knew who had been brave enough to severe a mating bond. But after years of trying and years of Elain skirting him he couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to know what it felt like but I was not nearly close enough to him to ask. After it happened he and Vassa disappeared to go back to the continent where they now lived. Vassa with help had broken her curse and was now free from the lake that had bound her for so long.   
Mor wore her long blonde hair down and full, striking against the red dress she wore, her skin visible beneath cut outs along her rib cage. Feyre sat next to her, Rhys on her other side who like his brothers worse a dark colored pant and jacket pairing. Feyre’s belly in a beautiful icy gown that made it look like she was going to pop any day now even though she wasn’t due for a few more months. Big baby. Poor Feyre. We had all sat around and made small talk, while watching the boys rough house. Then Feyre and Rhys put there son to bed, and the adults sat down for a lavish meal. Anxiety coursed through me, even though I kept a light smile on my face the whole time. After everyone was done eating we stayed seated, Cassian opening a thirteenth bottle of wine. The liquor was not helping my mood. 

“I know you said you raised her, but are you sure it wasn’t Nesta.” Armen regarded, a smirk on her own mouth, her cat eyes gleaming with mischief like I was a new toy to untangle. Nesta hissed from from down the long table. Varian chuckled before wrapping a big hand arm her slender bicep, coaxing almost a purr from the once warrior messenger of war. Disgusting.

A laugh erupted from Nesta where she sat next to Cassian. Her eyes had landed on my face which had contorted into grimace at what was about to happen in the chairs next to me. I liked Nesta the most I think. I know she was Rhys least favorite and I hadn’t grown up on stories of her, but she was the only one of this weird family that I felt I could relate to. She seemed to be unapologetically herself. I wanted to be that. 

“I know there has to be more to it than that,” I said sitting up in my chair. I placed the wine glass down, and crossed my across my chest, leveling him again with glare that I hope said, I was bored of this game. 

He too sat up in his chair, Feyre stifled a giggle behind her hand. Rhys eyes cut to her quickly, a fire flashed in his purple iris. Gross. Before he looked back to me. That was another thing, I didn’t understand how did Azriel and Mor get through any meal with this pack on love infested idiots.

“And, we are in need of an Emissary for the Autumn Court. Eris has just taken over as High Lord and to put it plainly I don’t trust him, even if he does say he is in alliance with us. We got him the throne but as far as we are concerned that’s where our alliance stopped. So it seems I am also in need of a spy. Enter you, two birds one stone.” He finished, taking another swig from his glass. 

Even though I didn’t take my eyes off Rhys' I felt twelve pairs of eyes watching me. Lucien who sat to my left had stiffened at the first mention of his eldest brother. 

Sucking my cheek in between my teeth I started to chew lightly. Debating. Shifting slightly in my chair I released my cheek and pursed my lips. “And why can any of you not do it?” I asked. I knew why. The stories I had heard about Eris were not pleasant ones. He had a reputation for being cruel, entitled, ruthless, things I knew all to well. I knew this had been coming. Rhys wouldn’t have given me a job I didn’t know how to do, but I was afraid to become that fae again. I had spent so long trying to bury her.

“For the love of the Cauldron” Tamlin hissed next to Elain, who sat at one head of the table. She shushed him. Her lovely features twisted into a scowl at the High Lord who sat to her left. His eyes narrowed slightly before an almost quizzical expression fluttered across his brow. Which left as quickly as it came and was replaced by a mask of slight irritation and indifference. 

“Because none of us can stand him” Mor piped from where she sat next to Azriel who occupied the opposite head of the table from Elain, his eyes flashing something deeper than fury, Mor’s own eyes flashing to Lucien across the table whose hands had clenched into fists. Vassa smoothed a hand over his leg under the table, subtly. I wonder if they were together yet. The last time Rhy had given me an update they still weren’t but maybe things had changed since Elain had gone to be the emissary in the spring court. My eyes slid to her, her clipped tone betraying her emotions. Before sliding back to Rhys, whose owns eye narrowed slightly. 

“having second thoughts?” His voice drifted through my head. She didn’t know, I don’t think anyone, but Rhys knew she was my half-sister. Kier was who my mother had had an affair with under the mountain. Why she told no one of my existence, I think she was afraid Kier would kill me, little did she know she would be the one to die. Regardless that made Mor and I half sisters, and technically Rhys and I cousins. But I had asked him not to say anything to her. Or anyone. I could hardly handle breathing fresh air, I didn’t need the unwanted drama of a father who may or may not try to kill me. 

NO, shut up. I sent back to him, huffing and rolling my eyes. 

“No more mind talk we want to know too.” Cassian whined, his wings sifting slightly as he readjusted in his seat. For a war general he did act like a perpetual child.

“What exactly does it entail?” I asked, summoning another groan from the majority of the group. Feyre glared at everyone except me, as if they were all her children and they were two seconds from a scolding. Her eyes met mine and softened. I gave her the best smile I could muster. She was so kind to me, and she tried so hard to make me feel welcome. I don’t know why I cant just let go and be able to exist normally among these people. 

My smile faded slightly as I shrugged, “I just want to know exactly what I am agreeing to before I commit. I’ve been apart of court life before, and unlike the majority of you it was not a court held together by love.” I said glancing around the room especially at Tamlin who didn’t look up from the table as I spoke, Lucien who I felt stiffen even more which I did not think possible and Varian, his mouth pulled back in a half grimace half smile all who I knew had suffered at the hand of Amarantha more directly then the other fae at this table. “I need to know exactly what I will be responsible for, and what is required of me, because there are some things I will never do again.”

“I would never ask you to do those things again.” Rhys softened, leaning forward on his elbows his eyes searching me in unrest. 

“Ok” I relaxed. “Then what is it you want me to do.”

“Well,” Feyre started “We would need you to do the usual job of an Emissary, correspondence between courts, keeping the peace. And as the spy, we— “ Rhys interrupted her “ We just need you to get close to Eris, you don’t need to get to close, but just close enough that he trusts you.” Feyre sat staring daggers at her mate. “We are waiting on some intel before we know if were looking for anything specifically. Azriel, Lucien and I will take a week and train you, So you are fully prepared for what the Autumn Court has to offer. After that you’ll spend three weeks a month in the Autumn Court. We will start tomorrow.” He finished. He looked at Feyre tensing slightly at her expression. A conversation being held in private between them. 

After a moment pause “Fine.” I said sighing. I pushed back from the table standing. I needed sometime alone. I did not want to have a melt down in front of all of them. I was not going to be getting out of this. I needed to go home and mentally prepare myself for my new foreseeable future, just another place I don’t belong, pretending to be something I wasn’t. I turned and headed towards the opening to the rest of the house from the dining room without a look back. 

“I’ll take you home.” Azriel sounded a step behind me.   
“Gods!” I squealed, stupid silent shadows. “What is with the men in this family.” I hissed spinning on him. We had made it the foyer. Beautiful paintings covered the walls, and hand made wood furniture scattered around the double ended grand staircase. He was closer than I thought that combined with the copious amounts of wine I had drunk when I spun I nearly toppled right into him. 

His hands reached out and wrapped around my biceps to steady me. I could feel the heat and ridges of his marked hands through the flimsy material that made up my sleeve. 

“I don’t need a ride” I said, ignoring the pull in my stomach. My tongue snaked out to wet my lips. A small knowing smile played at the corners of his lips. Gods I wanted to kiss those lips. 

“I think you might.” He leaned forward slightly and whispered into my ear. And then all at once he had taken two steps away and where my body had just been warm and happy was now assaulted with cool air. 

“And I said I don’t” The bad mood form before returning, now I really wanted to leave. I knew Azriel would not chase me. So I opened the intricately carved front door, and walked into the night. Back to my home. And waited for dread that had been threatening to bubble up early, to come spilling out.


End file.
